Sexy Back

I love Tuesday evenings - it's my night at the "club". Fitness club, that is. Since I joined the gym I've been enjoying the hip-hop dance aerobic class they call "Body Jam". It's the closest I get to a night club these days. Boogie-ing to Beyonce, Justin, PussyCat dolls... oh, and sometimes I even recognize the artists like Prince or even Fleetwood Mac - but they're only played during the "cool-down".

The instructor is this energetic young guy named T.J. who is amazing. He makes it seem like a real party - complete with "bollywood bangles" or "glow in the dark bracelets" when it's a disco themed release. The gym is packed, I think word has spread about his class.

So every Tuesday evening is my party night. Doesn't matter that I get all red-faced and sweaty, and come this close each week to throwing out a hip or knee. I get to shower at the end of the day in peace. And I can crump man!

Rejected, so here it is.

Well, they rejected the article I submitted to Today's Parent magazine. Not upset really - I'm sure they get inundated with all types of submissions. I should consider taking a writing course if I'm really serious about it. Mind you, I just read an article in the newspaper about how all writing courses at university and colleges are overflowing. Everybody thinks they can write now that the universe of blogging is available. Fancy that. Why can't I catch the wave before it becomes a tsunami?

Anyway, here is my article. I think it's good for a laugh anyway. True story, names have not been changed so innocent are not protected.


“ Luke -- I am your MOTHER!”

When I decided to stay at home with the kids, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But life is too short. The kids grow up quickly. Little did I know what was yet to come.

It was a very hot week. Ian was away on business. We had established a school routine for L, with 18 month old G happily in tow. When L woke up with a terrible stomach ache on Monday I was concerned. Was it appendicitis? Why is Ian not at home again? Our pediatrician was on vacation so I called Telehealth. They assured me that it was likely a stomach virus. By late afternoon L was still in great pain. That was it – we were going to the hospital. But he started screaming because he was afraid. So I told him to go to the washroom one more time. It worked. End of incident number one.

The next day was uneventful. A deceptive lull, as we were to find out.

On Wednesday, I decided to organize the lower kitchen cupboards. While I sat on the floor, Liam wanted a snack. I reached above me and grabbed something. Do you think I remembered to close the door? As I got up, my head hit a sharp corner. A stream of red came flowing over the lens of my glasses. L looked at me screaming – “Mommy– it’s very disturbing!”. Since I couldn’t see the wound, I asked him to go to the neighbour’s. He brought them back, as I had visions of going to the hospital. My neighbour told me to stop cleaning while my husband was away. Sage advice.

The next morning, I noticed that our laundry room smelled suspiciously “bleachy” clean. Accompanying this olfactory onslaught was a menacing hiss. WHAT!!!! This wasn’t the pattern. I was supposed to have another day before the next catastrophe! We had five minutes before school started. I got the kids into the car and drove.

I did a mental MacGyver, fashioning protective gear to investigate the situation. I’d need a mask of some sort, and a full suit of armour. I asked L if he still had his Power Ranger Mask. He told me it was too flimsy. Darth Vader was a lot sturdier, and even had breathing holes. The Dark Force would definitely better suit my needs.

With L safely at school, we headed back home. I tentatively opened the laundry room door. The hissing was in earnest, the smell almost palpable. I carried G to the safety of the family room. Donning my long sleeved shirt, heavy jeans, boots and elbow-high gloves I located my face protection from the dress up box. I decided to google “bleach” and “danger”. Up popped several hits about mixing bleach and ammonia, about nerve and toxic gas. I was truly expecting something to explode or certainly splash. I stood in front of the mirror and became Darth. I ventured back into the “spewing” chamber.

What did I find? Bottles of bleach and ammonia in the same cupboard. And a can of varnish, its contents dripping into the sink below. The heat of the room had likely created the toxic mixture. The offending players of this drama were removed. Windows were opened. Mystery solved. But guilt washed over me as I removed my mask, revealing the real mother.

How could this happen? What kind of mother was I? What other dangers would my kids be exposed to? Thoughts raced through my head as I checked in on my daughter. G was now using her milk to create a tribute to Jackson Pollock on our carpet. I moved quickly onto the next crisis de jour.

I decided that Ian was no longer allowed to travel. Well, that wasn’t realistic. So I cut myself some slack. There’s no manual or school, no magic formula for being the perfect stay at home parent. I’m a work in progress. It’s tough to become the 24/7 caregiver after being in the workforce for over a decade. I’m my kids’ mother. They love me for who I am. They love that I’m home. And Ian’s happy to have some semblance of calm (on most days) in our lives.

I sometimes long for coffee time with my colleagues, the cooler talk about the newest reality series, or the excitement of a successful negotiation. But this time with my children is precious. Work outside the home will come. These memories being created now are to be treasured forever. The Force is indeed with me.

A Sad Day

I went to a funeral today for someone I didn't even know. But my heart breaks for the people that he left behind.
I found out last weekend in a followup e:mail about the regular playgroup that G and I belong to. One of the girls e:mailed to let us know that she wouldn't be up to coming as her husband had a heart attack on Saturday and died. She didn't have most of our phone numbers, so this was the easiest way she had to tell us. My heart just dropped when I read that. She has 2 little boys, one just a little older than G and the other just 11 months old! She's still on maternity leave! Her husband was fit, led a healthy life and was just 42. He also had an older son around 12 from a previous marriage.
42. That's just one year older than me. Wow.
It was a very nice service - you could still feel the shock in the family as his two brothers (one older, one younger) talked about his life, and the love he had for his family. They said life shouldn't be measured by the number of years you've been on the planet, but rather your accomplishments and the life that you led. He sounded like such a happy fellow, who loved life, and was totally in love with his wife and his young family unit. The pictures of him with his loved ones just said it all. I wish I had known him.
There were three of us there from the playgroup. Lauren came with her 3 week old son. It brought home to me the circle of life.
When I spoke with Lisa after the service, she said she couldn't wait for the next playdate. The boys have been just stir-crazy. It must have been such a whirlwind for her - she's had lots of family and friends around in a very short time. But most live out of town. I think it may be hardest for her when everyone leaves and goes back to their own lives.
G and I are hosting the next playdate. I'm hoping that we'll be able to provide her any support that we can during this very sad time. Makes you really appreciate your loved ones even more.

Life's little treasures

G is in "pull-up" diapers now that we're moving into the next stage of toilet training. So I thought I would give her a break tonight, let her run around "free and breezy" style. Her diaper was freshly wet so I figured we were home free for a little bit, anyway. She loved it, having races with L in the hallway, dancing around, then doing her own thing, running the circuit around the living, dining, kitchen areas.

Then she pulled Ian away from his supper and asked L to follow her too - she said she had "peeped" in the hallway. Sure enough, we noticed a little nugget in the middle of the front hall - fairly disgusting but small enough to be manageable. Then she said "Other one over there" pointing to the dark living room. Bracing ourselves, Ian turned on the living room lights and in the middle of our dark wood floor was a much larger, less than manageable pile. Ewwwwwww!!!!!! Of course both boys, (by this time howling with laughter, with the little princess chiming in) left the cleaning up to mom. Don't ya just love poopy stories?

Question of the day

Why is it that every time I come out of the hair salon my hair looks great - or as in Ian's words "Hey, you've got a brand new head!"... but then I try to recreate the look at home and I get a cross between Keith Partridge and Mrs. Brady, or on a really good day with the flat-iron, a reasonable facsimile of Keith Urban? One of life's mysteries....

Little Miss Independence

There are now only 2 things standing in G's way of officially being a little girl - her milk bottle and her diapers. And I'll admit, I've been delinquent at least in the bottle department. I know I should have switched her months (if not a year) ago but she loves it so much and I figured, she's our last baby, so I'd let it slide. We were so blessed to have her and we'd already decided that we were done. I guess it's easy to say that to yourself, but it's another thing for your heart to realize that it's really it. It's totally the mom thing of hanging on the last vestiges of babyhood.

She had her 2 year checkup this past week and her pediatrician agreed - the bottle is getting in the way of her eating. She doesn't eat anything anymore - lives on her milk, the occasional egg, bagels and cereal bars. I've got to strap her down in her booster to get any toddler fruit into her - she throws all other cut up fruit across the room. I even tried polluting her milk with the wretched Poly Visol vitamin drops (shudder!). But she still loved it!. So cold turkey it'll have to be - we're trying this weekend.

The biggest thing for us is listening and interacting with her, as this little person is not only just communicating with us now, but having arguments and telling stories. Here's a list of little phrases/ funny things she came up with this week:

-at dim sum, she was playing with the cup, saucer, chopsticks, pretending to eat and saying "delicious". Grandma and Grandpa's friends who are learning English didn't understand her - they thought the English word was "yummy". Grandma said that was what regular toddlers say, but not G.
-also at dim sum, she was telling us about all the animals she knows, then points to the wall and said "Dragon go roar". I then asked her what the other animal on the wall was (a phoenix). She said "Looks like a turkey".
-she refuses to get in the stroller to pick L up at school. She wants to walk by herself, and won't let me hold her hand. If I try to guide her gently by touching her coat hood, she swipes at me "Don't bother me mommy". Great !!!
-she's discovered her nipples. One of the first things she ever said ages ago was "Wo wo (Chinese for dog)" when she pointed at Ian's chest. Don't know where she ever got that. But I digress. So lately it's "Look at my wo wo mommy" as she's rubbing her chest. Double Great!!!
-this morning when she got up, she told Ian to "wake up" and "Go change". She only cuddled with us when Ian agreed to scratch her back. Then as I went to get my sweats on to go downstairs she said "mommy getting a new outfit?". Hey, good idea.

As for potty training, well, she knows the concept, but refuses to do anything but throw toilet paper down the toilet when she's on it. Her special place is just behind the couch in the family room. Then she yells "I gotta go baff-room" after the fact. Yeah, we sort of figured it out a few minutes ago. She stopped pulling her pants off all the time a couple of months ago. Thank goodness - that combined with the nipple massaging may have led her toward pole-dancing as a career.

Well, at least we've got some time to steer her straight!

Freedom... or at least a break

Another momentous milestone in the life of L - he took the schoolbus for the first time yesterday. And the 2nd time today. So far so good. Whoo hoo for L - double whoo hoo for Mommy! What a journey it has been to get him to this moment, and after all the drama, it was over in 2 seconds.

He "faced his fears" and overcame them. Who knew he'd have handy-dandy-Andy - his new school bus buddy -- already on board? And fears they were, no matter how trivial or insurmountable they may seem to the average eye.
It's been a subject of great debate since the beginning of the school year. Here are the facts:

1. Mom has driven L to and fro, with G in tow, since Senior Kindergarten. 2. Through hail, snow, sleet, wind, heatwave, rain - every major weather system that hits the hurricane hazel snowbelt a.k.a. school playing field/ playground, Mom and Giselle have never missed a day of accompanying Liam.
3. This ritual occurred twice daily, with the morning session preceded by a stress-ridden period of dressing then feeding a hungry 6 year old, picky toddler, pack a fresh lunch, and during the cold season bundle up both children, snowsuits, boots and all, and lock and load them into the mom-van for a 3 minute drive before parking and embarking, stroller and all, on the bumpy trip across the unforgiving (obviously unplowed) terrain. Then it starts over again 7 hours later, usually requiring Mom to rudely awaken little G from her peaceful mid-afternoon slumber to participate.
4. The roads around the school are a nightmare at pickup and dropoff time. Congested with cars (nobody walks to school anymore) and discourteous drivers. And dangerous with all these school children milling about in and out of cars.
5. The three of us attended a "ride the bus" orientation session in the summer to prepare for the new procedures. We all passed (including G) with flying colours.
6. Schoolbus is available to pick him up to and from school. Bus stop is right at the base of our drive way. Bus drops him off right at the door of the school.
7. Drive to school is less than 5 minutes.
8. Mom is sick of being so bitchy and stressed every morning. L is usually an angel (with the requisite prompting) at getting himself ready and is rarely the reason we cut it so close to being late. The problem is it's not only him to consider anymore.

The first night before he was to board the bus, he stressed so much, he almost couldn't go to sleep. But then we woke up to bus cancellations and he breathed a huge sigh of relief. So the next night, I made no mention of the bus.

So yesterday as he was getting on his coat, I told him we had to hurry because the bus would be here soon. That's when the tears, crying, and all the big drama started. G then got in on the act - told L not to cry, patting him on shoulder. But I still had to get her dressed, and myself, to stand at the corner with Liam. To his credit, he managed to get everything on, and stopped the crying as soon as we saw other kids at the corner. I introduced myself and the kids to the two boys there. Bus drove up, driver opened the door, I told her it was Liam's first ride as he got in. She said "Hi L", he moved a couple steps in and I could hear an excited "HI L" from a young boy. And there he was - our saviour - ANDY!!

This morning because G slept in (still fighting her cold in the middle of the night) I told L I would watch him from the door. He was fine - gave me a quick wave just before the bus drove up. Then he was gone. I checked the clock. Precisely 8:35 AM - wow, that's a whole 25 minutes saved!! I actually had time to drink my coffee and read some of the newspaper before little G woke up. Paradise!!!

Tomorrow I'm volunteering with L's class, so I told Liam he didn't have to take the bus. He still wants to - would like me to come a few minutes later on my own. He likes the little adventure he has every morning on the bus. What a difference a couple of days makes!

Best Date ....

I took L to see "A Night at the Museum" this afternoon. Made me realize that I have rarely spent any time alone with him since G came along. We had such a great time - my heart just swells with love when I'm with him - he's such a great little boy. We had great laughs, we grabbed each other's hands during potentially tense moments. During a small fight scene he covered his eyes - it's so easy to forget that he's only 6 sometimes because of how mature he is in his conversation and outlook. When he does little things like that he's just my little baby boy again. It brings me back to the special Fridays that we used to have together. For almost 4 years it was just the two of us every Friday, my extra day off when I went back full time. It was so worth it - the special mommy and son moments. I hope he'll remember them as he grows older.

Watching the film also brought back memories of this time last year - what a wonderful trip we had as our new family unit of 4 in Manhattan. L recognized the museum and some of the scenes outside and in Central Park. I don't blame him for wanting to go back again. The weather there appears absolutely balmy right now as well (17 deg, I think?!). Maybe in the spring.

It's 2007

how did that happen? Life has this funny way of catching up to you. G turned 2 on Dec 22. My severance and benefits ended on December 25 - nice Christmas present! That marks 2 years and one month that I've been a stay-at-home mom. Never really pictured this for myself, and after spending most of the last year feeling guilty about not looking for work, then feeling guilty about thinking about being away from my kids - I think one of my resolutions for the new year is not to think so much! Alas, such is the lot in life for the mother ; guilt, guilt and more guilt.
I mentioned to L that I might start working a bit this year - he got very upset, told me he hates daycare. So this just moves me more firmly into the work at home scenario. The thing about it is that it's intimidating. Having always had a full time job, 9 - 5, full benefits etc. etc., it's a bit nerve wracking to think about going it on my own. Don't know why I'm so nervous, we do have the safety net of Ian's career. But I know even though he says he doesn't think about it, there is more pressure on him now that we've only got his one income. Especially with my spending habits!