Saturday, November 03, 2007

Boobs in Toyland

The following tales were heard at a recent playgroup. Although there has been some creative license taken, these are true stories about real children. As opposed to lies about fake boobs.

Names have been withheld or altered to protect the innocents.


A 2 year old girl is watching her mother get ready after a shower. The daughter points to her own chest and says, “Mommy, these are my boobies. I have little boobies”.

Then she points at her mother’s chest and screams, “I don’t want to see those!”.

Her flat-chested mother says, “Why not?”

Her daughter replies, “Those are Mommy’s boobies. They are TOO BIG!”

The mother wishes she had a tape recorder with her, as she never thought she’d hear those particular words, EVER in her lifetime.


Another 2 year old girl is also watching her mother as she showers. She also thinks her mommy’s boobies are big.

But to the amusement of her mother, her daughter thinks her daddy’s boobies are even bigger.


A preschooler is sitting in the back seat as his mother is driving him to their excursion of the day. He is happily learning his alphabet. Mom is so proud, talking to him from the front seat as he starts going over the letters, and he is able to connect the letters with some objects that he sees out the car window.

“Look mommy, there’s a tree. T is for tree!”

The mother thinks that’s wonderful. “That’s great Johnny, let’s try some more. What does A stand for?”

Johnny, “A is for Apple!"

Mommy, "Good, now what does B stand for?"

Johnny, "B is for Boobie…"


Finally, a 2 year old is fascinated by the whole concept of nursing, and follows her aunts to watch her newborn baby cousins nurse. One day, after watching one of these nursing sessions, she comes out of the room and sits next to her brother. She pulls up her shirt. Pointing to her chest, she says to him,

“I’M the Mommy, YOU be the baby.”

Her shocked older brother, totally weirded out, runs away yelling,
“No way, I’m a boy!”.


Have a great weekend!


MrsGrumpy said...

Those are funny. My sister in law is (was) quite large up top and her niece, when she was pregnant, asked if she was carrying the babies "in those things?"

Karen MEG said...

That is hilarious! I bet if we all put together our boob stories, there'd be enough for a series!
Have a great weekend!

Badness Jones said...

That's hilarious. My daughter just takes nursing for granted - but the one day I was trying to nurse Badness discreetly at Timmie's, she pulls her shirt up to her neck, sticks her doll to her boobie, and 'nurses' her baby while dancing and singing loudly all over the aisle! Sigh. This is my life.

Kellan said...

Such cute boobie stories! I loved um - have a great weekend. See you soon.

Shawna said...

How funny! I love these! Made my day!

Melinda Zook said...

So cute. Kid stories are the best. Thanks for visiting my blog. I am enjoying yours as well.

hellomelissa said...

i like the one with daddy's boobies being bigger!

one time my husband took my (very small at the time) son into a crowded men's bathroom. he shared a stall with the little guy, and when daddy was using the toilet, my son shouted, "DADDY YOUR PEEPEE IS HUGE!"

afteer hearing the laughter outside, my husband took his time exiting the stall.

C said...

Hahaha! Karen, this post just made me crack up! You're too funny! Kinda scary when Daddy's boobies are bigger than Mommy's though! LOL!

Family Adventure said...

Think I can guess who the last little girl was...

Too funny! Isn't it odd how these things go in waves. Suddenly everyone is talking about boobies.

Heidi :)

Sleepynita said...

2 weeks ago I had a painter come to finish painting our basement playroom. The painter shows up at 8am, just minute after Rito and I woke up. Rito who loves to say "boobs" pulls my tank top down and yells BOOBS!!!!! to the painter.

I was so awkward for the rest of the day.

Sephyroth said...

I'm stopping by on my way to commenting on as many NaBloPoMo blogs as possible as part of the NaBloPoMo commenting challenge. :)

Those are some great stories; it sounds like little Johnnie is getting the idea of being another of us guys quickly. ;)


Karen MEG said...

badness-isn't it amazing how mothering girls are at such a young age?
Hi kellan- boobie stories are great. Makes up for my lack of them (boobs, I mean;)
Hi Shawna - great for a giggle, eh?
Thanks for popping by melinda!

Karen MEG said...

Melissa-Maybe I should ask around for peepie stories next week - that was hilarious. You lucky girl!
C-very scary indeed.
Heidi - I bet you guessed right :)

Karen MEG said...

sleepynita- umm, yes, rather awkward... I guess you tried to make yourself scarce ;)
hiya sephyroth, I'll check you out too! Your blog, I mean :)

familymclean said...

ha, ha , too funny!

melissa said...

These were awesome! Those are great days, enjoy them. When they get older and start talking about them again, it's really scary...


Veronica said...

These are too funny!

Everytime I take my shirt off, my daughter gets all excited and wants to feed. She is at the age when if I tell her no, she just tries to get into my top herself. *sighs*

Who knew I was raising a boobie addict?

Mama Loves Baby said...

wow, this is sooo funny. My son is 17 months and he is fasinated with boobies to, particuarly mine, but he will also lift his daddys shirt up and liik at his too. kids are crazy.

bec said...

I looove love love love that one with the "I'll be the mommy, you be the baby". That one had me adn dh cracking up!

Boy I feel sorry for that one whose husband's boobs are bigger than the wife's. ;) tee hee.

I saw another mom about your blog, since I think it was her Johnny quoted in it. I didn't have the link handy but maybe on Wed. when we see her she can get it then.


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